Spread the Sunshine...not the Cold Virus

I feel like this week the honeymoon is officially over.  The start to my year was amazing. The first 3 weeks I didn't have any major issues to deal with and when tough situations did arise I had systems and procedures in place for dealing with them.  Last week things began shifting.  More and more conflicts and problems began to surface.  As these issues came to my attention these last couple of days I got really grumpy.  I would ask, "Why can't this person be...?"  "Why is she acting like that?" "Are we still on a boil water advisory?"  "What is wrong with these parents?"  "Bedbugs? OMG!"

Triggers.  Last year I realized that when I experience a multitude of unexpected problems, issues, or negativity in a short period of time, these become a real trigger for me--especially if I take the issues personally.  I dwell on the problems and talk about them with whoever comes near--ESPECIALLY when I feel unfairly attacked, particularly justified in my anger, or if I feel I am just RIGHT in my thinking.  (I am not sure there is a person in this building who didn't know about the experiences I have had with a certain parent these last couple of years).  Perhaps my crowning moment last year was when I told my boss that the best thing about my day was my trip to the gynecologist.  

What I thought was being honest, authentic, vulnerable, and real was actually being sharing my negativity. 

 Don't get me wrong.  You have to talk to people honestly and get real, but I really don't need to spread it to the whole school.  Like everything, there is a balance and there is a time and place for everything.  

As you watch this video, please don't think I'm fussing at you! :) I promise I am not.  I don't want you to think "Well, Ms. Sunshine doesn't want to hear about my problems.--she'll just think I'm being negative."  I also don't believe everyone needs to skip around the school like I do (lol) acting like everything is hunky dory for you if it is not. 

What DO I want you to get from this video? 

1.  Reflect:  Are there times when you, like me, are sharing negativity unnecessarily?  Have you had an issue with a staff member?  Did you triangulate by talking about them to others or do you address them directly?  Are you spreading negativity to feed your own ego or sense of self by talking negatively about a situation, a teacher, or a program that you aren't even involved in and/or has nothing to do with you?

• Think about what comes out of your mouth.  Decide if you (like me) need to start filtering better
• Help your fellow staff members by holding them accountable and ask your colleagues to hold you accountable.  When comments or negativity brings you down, help colleagues to focus their talk in a different direction.

2.  Identify Your Triggers:  Have you been feeling grumpy like me and need help shifting so that you have a better attitude?

• Figure out what triggers you. Determine if the situation in front of you is what upset you or if there's something underlying that has made you upset.

3. Reframe it:

• Talk to a trusted friend about your triggers.  They might be able to help you figure out why the trigger upsets you so much.
• See if you can reframe your triggers into opportunities to lead from where you are with your attitude and communication with others.  
• Use humor.  I can almost always turn an annoying situation into a funny story.  Let me know if you need help with that! 
• If the situation just stinks and there is no good way of looking at it, find something different and positive to rest your mind on and focus on your gratitude for that.  Brain research shows it is impossible to feel stress when you are in a state of gratitude.

Like I mentioned above, I don't want anyone to walk away from this feeling like they are being targeted by me.  This comes from a place of true and honest self-reflection on my part and a genuine desire to help us all to be happy in our situations and to stop the spread of negativity so that we can lift others up.  Personally, I have gone through the above steps and have decided to use my experience this last week to lead from where I am and try to lift others up.  It has helped me so much with my attitude today that people have noticed and asked what was up with me today! ;)

Last year at this time I had a live feed of the beach that I was getting ready to visit on Fall Break broadcasting on my computer.  When I would start feeling triggered, I would look at the beach and think, "I'll be there soon."  Unfortunately, Red Tide and a Hurricane ruined my beach vacation and it was a disaster--not kidding.  This year, I'm trying to have that beach mentality here at PLE!  No matter what happens I have a choice in how I respond.  That response can lift others or bring them down.  That will, in turn, impact my feelings and frame of mind.  I can be beach happy right here at Paint Lick!!