Non-Violent Communication

It seems like everywhere I turned this week there has been aggression and violence. From the emotions and divisiveness raised by the election to the reporting of another mass shooting, violence is so prevalent in our culture.  Then when I come to school and have to discipline students for interacting in hostile or aggressive ways...it feels like it's everywhere.

At the same time, our district is beginning to have discussions about the competencies we want to see from our graduates.  This has led me to think about how we can help our students interact in ways that are positive and productive instead of reactive and aggressive.   If we graduate students whose first impulse is to react on the defensive and "fight back," not only are they going to have difficulty holding down a job, but they will also have difficulty in relationships, diminishing their quality of life.

What can we do?  Can we help our students see others differently?  Can we show people a different way?  What if we could graduate panthers that not only have content mastery but who also have mastery of their emotions?

As I started researching this concept, communication kept surfacing as a common thread.

"Human beings have enormous power to enrich life. We can use words to contribute to people’s enjoyment, their wisdom. We can use words that can make life miserable for people. So our words are very powerful."

— Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD

Marshall Rosenberg developed the concept of nonviolent communication in his efforts to bring about peace in the world.   This video on Youtube gives you a little bit about how Rosenberg developed the concept.  It is fascinating!  Like us, he began with the end in mind!  He was basically researching ways to bring about world peace.  Then, the super cool thing that happened is that his method had HUGE implications for daily interactions among regular people--not just those in the middle east who he was helping. 

One of the interesting applications I found, is in the way we talk to ourselves.  Rosenburg talks about that when he analyzes communication in terms of a need and evaluation.  Check out this segment of the video... for more on that.

I believe it's no coincidence that communication is among our Panther Principles.  I honestly hadn't thought about communication this deeply...but what if?  What if we can help shape our students and help them see the world and each other in more positive, productive ways?  How can we have an impact on the students we teach in the limited time we have with them?  What if we could start with ourselves?  What if we begin by modeling nonviolent communication in the ways that we interact with each other and ourselves?  Could we bring about world peace...one panther at a time?

Click here for more on practical applications of nonviolent communication...
I had seen the information on the "I-messages" before, but what hit me is on the receiving end.  At PLE let's start by being good role models for our students, giving others the benefit of the doubt, being open and empathetic givers and receivers of the information--especially when we talk to ourselves.

If you get a taste for this concept and are really into it, watch this YouTube Video and/or Google non-violent communication.